Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. I think it's the first one I've spent away from my dad in my 20 (almost 21) years of life. I haven't called him yet, I will as soon as I'm done with this post.

So why this post? For lots of reasons, but mostly because I'm so thankful to have a caring, self-less, and hard working dad. He may not say it, but I definitely know he loves me and my brother, and he knows I love him back. I've been blessed with a great, not perfect, daddy. I've also been blessed with loving grandfathers, and although we hardly get to see each other because of distance, the times I have spent with them are very highly cherished in my heart and memory. I've also been blessed with an awesome "Anco" that was there for me during my childhood and now I get to see him be a loving father to his children, my cousins. Now, I don't want to make this be a sappy post but one other reason I'm writing this is: I've met men who get to celebrate their first Father's day today. They've been blessed with a child in past 6 months, and getting to hear them talk about their kids is so beautiful! Okay, done with the gushing.

I've had examples of males who decided to become the man they were meant to be before (and also after) seeing their first child. Unfortunately, I've also seen males who do not become men because they choose to walk out on their children (although often times, the children and their mother get walked out on.) I definitely agree that just because you are fertile male does not mean you are a father. Why else would there be single mothers? (Alright feminists, come at me!)

Let me make something clear, I have no vile feelings toward single mothers. In fact, I have nothing but the utmost respect for them. These single mothers have done the best (more often than not) they could with the life they were given. They have fulfilled the role of mother and father to their children, they often work more than one job to pay the bills, keep food on the table, and still come home to do housework. Even statistics say single mothers are doing the right thing. Of course, I also believe that being a single mother should never happen unless by death of the father/spouse or endangerment. (I also know that a civil or religious wedding/marriage is not entirely necessary for a man and a woman to raise children well, although it is technically a sin. But I'm not here to talk about that today.) For whatever reason (I'm sure there are many), males have become less and less willing (or allowed) to take responsibility for their actions and decisions. One only need to look at shows like Jerry Springer and Maury, at the icons young men look up to, at the rates of divorce, at the amount of child support NOT paid. Males have kept their childish ways while living with an adult body.

The father role models are now less and less obvious, less and less present in our mainstream media. Although I have stopped watching news and most forms of televised media (not having a TV is very helpful) I did notice a trend for male roles: 1) the Casanova type (a.k.a. "the player") who every woman wanted 2)an abusive alcoholic who attempted to lead through fear or 3) what I call an "emasculated" male, he was under the control of a woman with no voice and no say, and he did not contradict wrong decisions. Gone was the male who could make the right, rational decisions in times of crisis instead of decisions out of fear. Gone was the male who fought to protect his family, and the honor of his family. Gone was the male who could collaborate with others. BUT THERE IS HOPE! In this world there are males who can make the right decision, there are males who protect their family at all costs, there are men who desire and seek to live a life of honor, of courage, of what some would call character. I too once despaired over the thought of children growing up with just a mother or no parents at all, but I have seen some decide to stop the current trend and begin to fulfill the duty and role solely a man was meant to fulfill.

So now my questions to you are: What did you like most about your father? If you grew up without a father (or male role model), what lessons have you learned and what do you appreciate most from your mother/guardian? Males, if you were to become a father, what did you learn from yours that you would apply and what would you change? Ladies, what traits do you want the future father of your children to have?


"Hombre si te dices hombre...."