"You are what you practice."

I used to see that phrase once a day, 5 days a week for two school years. Two whole school years. 

Where and why? It was painted as a banner in my orchestra classroom when I was in middle school (which was quite some time ago it seems). My orchestra teacher would point that out on the first day of school just as a reminder of her teaching philosophy and I think I know why now.

I started playing violin in 7th grade, I practiced as much as I could so I would get better. Of all the violins, I learned the posture, the notes, the songs we played the fastest. There was one thing I wasn't quite good at, and that was timing. My teacher would always tell me to slow down, as I tended to make everyone else speed up just so they could keep up with me. Talent? I certainly didn't have any, but I did have a desire and want to be a good violinist. By the time I was in 8th grade, I joined the Advanced orchestra of my middle school. A lot of the students in this had been playing since 4th or 5th grade (the first year you can learn to play an instrument in my school district was 4th grade, you got to play a string instrument, since violins are one of the smaller instruments a lot of kids chose that. In 5th grade you could start to learn to play a wind instrument.) Needless to say they were really good, the basses, the cellos, the violas, and the violins. They were all better than me, or so I thought.

In an orchestra the violins usually are so numerous that they are divided into 1st and 2nd violins. The 1st violins tend to play the melody of a piece and also play higher notes; it takes a good violinist to hit those notes in the upper octaves with minimal mistakes. The 2nd violins usually play the harmony and/or the melody but at lower octaves/notes. It's kind of like in a choir, there is a difference between a soprano and an alto, or a soprano and a bass. During the first week, we can sit wherever we want within our section, I usually sat somewhere in the middle of the violin section. Then we got tested on a piece of music. Again, I practiced until I got it down and could play the piece without really looking at the notes, I had memorized them. Each violin player played a few bars of the piece, I think it was the hardest section; one by one we all played, I was nervous I'm not going to lie. The next day the teacher gave us the results, the test determined who was good enough to play in the 1st violin section and all other violins got to be 2nd violins. I got to be a 1st violinist! I remember the excitement of that day and I stayed a 1st violin for the rest of the school year. One of the last chairs in the 1st violin section, but a 1st violin nonetheless!

Once I got to high school, the same thing happened with the violins, we all played a few bars of the same piece and got sorted that way. Again, this was super nerve-wracking, the violinists were all REALLY REALLY REALLY good! Some even had outside tutors to help them perfect their playing style. That and the teacher this time kept saying he expected us to play as if we were going to do this as a career, and he looked like a bulldog! Once again, I got into the 1st violin section, the second to last chair in the section. As the year went on, we played pieces that increased in level of difficulty. At some point before one of our concerts for the year, each section got tested to see if the chairs were in the correct position. From second to last chair, I got moved up to 4th chair. Chair just refers to your ranking within the section. I knew I had earned that chair, I had practiced a lot, but I was so scared of failure that I returned to my former position.


By now you're probably wondering, what does that have to do with the phrase "You are what you practice."? I would say it has to do a lot with my story of orchestra (I don't play violin on a regular basis anymore, but I can still play it, and play pieces that I spent hours practicing.) Because I practiced hard to become a good player, I got good results. I never imagined I would get to be 4th chair in the 1st violin section, especially not after playing for only 2 years. So really, I got some of the best results, the ones that I didn't think could or ever would happen.


After many years, I only though of that phrase about 3 days ago. I had finished reading How to have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People by Les Giblin and was ruminating the principles and ideas presented in the book. In fact I finished the book in one sitting on Wednesday and applied some of the principles found in that book and in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People while shopping at my local Bath and Bodyworks shop (Buy 3 products from the signature collection, get 3 free! A genius deal!) I can tell you, I probably made an employee's day, she made a happy "squee" sound after she walked away. I BECAME a nice customer because I PRACTICED being a nice customer.

So if you practice being a gentle and caring person, you BECOME a gentle and caring person. If all you ever do to one person is beat them down with your words, then everyone else knows you ARE a mean person and they will never come ask you for help nor will you be liked by anyone. We've all heard "Practice makes perfect", but unfortunately we can never BE perfect, it's not possible!! So instead, think of "You are what you practice." If you challenge yourself to "practice" doing one kind action, then slowly, but surely, you will BECOME and be perceived as a kind person. When you "practice" being organized, orderly, and punctual, then those traits become a part of you; now you are an organized, orderly, and punctual person. Your actions illustrate who you are and whom you have become; if you change something then others will notice, especially if you start becoming likable!

Remember, you can never reach perfection, (It's like an asymptotic curve!), but you can become something really close to perfection. Whatever you do, it defines the type of person you are... and I for one, want to be a likable person, someone others go to for advice or to talk with. "I wanna be the very best..." thus I will practice becoming the very best.