Levels of Love

Yes, you read that right. "Levels of Love", though it's more like types of love.

In case you didn't know, the Greeks had three different words for the English "love"; makes English sound like a boring language doesn't it? These are eros, filia, and agape.

EROS
You've probably heard of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of passionate love which borders on lust. That is eros, a love that is passionate and when taken to extremes, becomes lustful selfishness. That's one of the types of love, the love between a couple. They desire each other, not just carnally! They want everything of the other person and the other person wants everything of the partner. It is amazing and dangerous when not controlled. If one were to pin-point it to a certain aspect of life, it would probably be best described as the love that drives sexual desire. I've never experienced this type of love, and probably won't.... at least not for the time being, that much is definite.

FILIA
Think "Philadelphia", the city of brotherly love. Filia is the love between friends and family members, the one that drives interactions between the people you see and know. This is probably the love most of us know and feel on a daily basis; the hug from your friend, a smile, someone inviting and making you dinner, there are endless ways in which to express this love. It is the concern someone shows when you have a frown, the encouragement one receives when afraid, the kindness and loyalty of friends. This is my favorite level of love! As a girl, it's really amazing to be able to have this type of love for others; it's especially helpful when you realize that you're the only female in a group of 4-5 people standing in a hallway and you KNOW that the friend zone is that love. Does that even make sense? It sounded better in my head, let me try again. Guys and gals, this is the love of the friends-zone, the love between family members.

AGAPE
This level of love is the self-sacrificing love. The love of mother and/or father to a child, the love between husband and wife (or just spouses... gotta be all proper and inoffensive nowadays) and the love God has for us. This is the level of love each of us should strive for, I know I do (especially since I have a teeny tiny desire to adopt children). You want to make someone else happy and feel loved? Ask them what you can do for them, you have no idea how appreciative the person will be; especially if you're willing to sacrifice your time for them.  (Well, the reaction will depend on the person's personality, but that's another blog subject. Hahaha!) Yeah, you could go study for that midterm, or you could go hang out with a friend you haven't seen in a while and make their day by giving them cupcakes and a hug. Okay, maybe that was a little extreme, but I hope you get my point. This is known as the most rewarding type of love, for both the giver and recipient.


As I mentioned earlier, I'm definitely a giver of filia, and am bordering agape.

So why did I decide to blog about love? Because it's a subject that permeates the relationships I have (and I don't mean dating, I mean like friendships and family). Also, I've always thought about the different kinds of love I give to others, and this is something I've been talking and thinking about since I was 12 or 13, which is roughly 7 years ago.

This is something I think about when I want (or do say) "I love you." As the Snow Patrol song says "Those three words are said too much", this is true but one must always think about which type of love we mean. Or in my case, I would only say it when I really meant it, which I don't advise in doing. Then people think you don't love them all that much or even like them, not a fun place to be now that I think about it.

So the next time someone says "I love you.", you could be witty and say "In what way?" Love, it definitely keeps our world together. Now if we could just find a way in which to differentiate between the loves in English.

Have any thoughts? Share them in a comment! :)