Monday, April 30, 2012

Lessons Learned: Whining

A few minutes ago, I helped coax a cat off our roof with the help of my housemate and her boyfriend. His name is Wallace, and adorable orange tabby short-hair. Since our front door was open he ran into the house and proceeded to go upstairs into my other housemate's room. Her room was the only open door upstairs. I then caught him and placed him back outside, since she claims to be allergic. Our little trio of rescuers went back outside to play with Wallace, and my housemate opened the door and the cat ran back upstairs again. Once more I went to get Wallace from the housemate's room.

So why am I starting this post with the story of a cat? Especially of a cat with a name like Wallace who "likes the outdoors and thick women." Well, because I learned something about the human condition once again. Something I've observed on different occasions, but sometimes forget. Strangely, I get reminded of the beautiful side of humanity from those deemed by our society as "the scum of the Earth"; this is to say the houseless, the poor, the wanderers, and the drug users. It's the people of "normal" society that show me the ugly side. Back to the cat story, this housemate proceeded to be angry about a cat running around our apartment because she's allergic. She also wanted to hurt the cat. Normally, I don't mind if people get angry about an animal being around, they can if they want. After all, the person only hurts their health with anger. However, what does get me irritated is when they sound like a whiny child, and even more when it's a tone used often.

So why do whiny tones irritate me? I think part of it is because I quickly learned that whining never got me anything. Whining was looked down on within my extended family structure, which is not to say it didn't happen. I probably did whine and complain about a few things in my childhood, but that never resolved anything for me. In more recent years, I found myself befriend girls who liked to whine and complain about everything. I also found myself surrounded by girls who used their whiny voices to get others to do something for them. This probably has something to do with the concept of protecting the weak, and whiny in the natural world means weak. Only in the human world does whiny and weak get special attention, in the realm outside of human touch the weak are left to die. All this whining got to the point where I explicitly had to tell children and adolescents that speaking to me like that would never work, once they calmed down they were to ask for what they wanted in a more conversational tone. Not pleading, not begging, not whining, just asking.

Back to those in the "scum of the Earth" category. Never have I had the experience of whining from someone like that. Do they tell you their past? Yes, but to me it always seemed like they just wanted to tell someone their past so the  present could be better understood. But what about beggars you say? They are usually in search of the basic human needs: food, warmth, and compassion (also known as the human touch). Next time you see someone who you would usually classify as this category, stop and maybe talk to them for a bit. You'll be surprised at how open some are, in some cases they just wanted someone to ask them how they have been dealing with their life. Often, you'll find they are rather resourceful people, but this is not always the case.

The event of tonight, unfortunately, reminded me of why I started disliking, to the point of hating, humankind. Why I began avoiding others of my age, especially females, and why animals became my best friends; along with books and art supplies.
                                                                                                                                                                   
I wrote that about a week ago, and stopped myself from publishing it. I opted to sleep and think whether publishing was worth it or not. I came to the conclusion that this was a form of whining, and felt guilty. But it also served as a reminder of what I dislike about myself and others. Still, I think this was important and have decided to publish after all.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Hasta Luego

A friend of mine is currently volunteering in Bolivia and will return this summer. In one of her blogs she mentioned a difference on saying "Farewell". I had noticed this difference between Spanish speaking people and English speaking people, but it's become more apparent recently.

My first language is Spanish, and very few people say the English equivalent for "Goodbye", "adiós". From what I've observed and learned from outside sources, adios is used more for final goodbyes. I guess you could say it's reserved for funerals, hence the phrases "La última despedida" and "El último adiós." You won't see the person ever again, at least not physically alive.

The preferred phrase is "Hasta luego", it literally means "see you later". There are variations with the same meaning, for example my family uses "Ahi nos vemos", it means "We'll see you [there]." Ahi nos vemos is mostly used when talking to the actual person, whereas hasta luego is used when ending a phone call.

Once I learned English and began "English only" in 4th grade I would still say "See you later" instead of "Bye!" to friends. It probably struck people as odd, after all my English sounds "perfect". (Or so I've been told. Once others find out Spanish is actually my first language they're really shocked because of the unaccented English, but I digress.) When I started middle school, and gained new friends, I don't think anyone was really all that surprised about my preference of "See you later!" My friends started saying that instead of "bye", except when talking on the phone.

Phone conversations are the most interesting for me, whether in English or in Spanish I always end with the appropriate "hasta luego!" I never say "bye", and it throws people off. It's quite amusing because some have gotten angry because I don't say good-bye, but it's too strange. For me, saying "good-bye" is like saying I'll never see the person again because they're dead.

The reason I'll never say good-bye: I'm going to see you again, I don't know where or when or how, but we'll cross paths again. Perhaps it will be in a few hours, perhaps tomorrow, next week, or next month; or maybe it will take years. Maybe even in the afterlife! But we'll see each other again. Por eso te digo, hasta luego, see you later!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Who I am and Who I am Not

For the past week I've spent a lot of time thinking about the friends I have, have had, and will have. It's something interesting to think about because there has been such a difference between the types of people I hang around with during different stages in my life. This also reminded me of some quotes I've read and heard while growing up.

"Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres."
Translated this means "Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are." It has different variants, one of my personal favorites being "Run with the dogs and you'll catch fleas." No one can deny that the people around them have some degree of influence of the behaviour, thoughts, and words of one. That, I believe, is the heart of this quote. And by that quote I would be a variety of things, they include but are not limited to:
  • I would drink a substantial amount of alcohol every week
  • I would smoke weed almost every night
  • I would watch a lot of anime and read tons of manga
  • I would attend a concert at least 3 times a year
  • I would have a boyfriend
  • I would have at least 2-exboyfriends
  • I would hate a lot people
  • I would be living at home with my parents, either attending the local college or working
  • I would be in a sorority
  • I would attend some party-like event on a regular basis
Now, I'm not saying that any of the above are necessarily bad (okay, the first two probably are), but that if people judged me by the type of people I hung out with, they'd think I was the worst person in the world. They'd never let their children (or themselves) near me. One would probably think "That's so horrible! Why would anyone think you were that?" after really getting to know me, but the sad truth is that many of us are judged because we are found with the "wrong" people and because of the "first impressions are everything" mentality very few people ever care to change their view of us.

This quote leads me to the other phrase that's been on my mind: "You are the average of the 5 people you spend time with the most." Again, you can add up the bullet points mentioned above and realize I would be.... well I don't know what your opinion of me would be, but it's possible it would not be a very good one.

BUT do not despair for there is hope! Something I only started noticing a few weeks ago was just how accepting I was, am, of people. I'm trying to hard to find at least one thing I like about another person, which is very helpful when meeting someone who you think is detestable at first glance. One other thing that really helps is to just think about behaviours you do not like as something that is a PART of the person, which is to say you like the whole and just allow the person to change that trait if they wish.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Finding the Peace of God in Stressful Times

Wow! First of all, I just finished studying/reviewing/ re-writing my notes for a class about 10 minutes ago. I started around noon, and yesterday I did that from 3pm to about midnight. I crammed about 4 weeks worth of material into two days, not the best thing to be proud of, but I digress.

I feel like a month has gone by since I last made a post, even though it's only been one week. I also feel the stress on my shoulders and neck, ow. Anyway, the reason it feels like it's been a month is because the past two weeks have just been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I think everyone goes through a few of those times, it's just a part of life. I've received good news and bad news on the same day and the week before I had finally been told what certain people were saying about me. But that's not important. And I was not sleeping well, some nights I would go to sleep very late and wake up early or go to sleep late and wake up a few hours later and have some difficulty falling asleep again (I do believe that classifies as stress-induced insomnia). Needless to say, I was very exhausted both emotionally and physically.

Again, I digress. During those two weeks it became very hard for me to find God in my life, and to just trust Him to guide me through that. But I did eventually just give in, and lo! The greatest feeling! In one night, when I just decided to let go... wow, I never felt so peaceful before then. Sure there were some tears, but man oh man did it feel great to know that even though I couldn't handle everything on my own, God would be helping me carry the load. Like many before me, and plenty after, I often feel like I can control everything in my life, it's under MY control. I'm unstoppable, I am capable of anything and everything. But see? That was my problem, I had forgotten I had limits. The human body can only go for so long with insomnia-like symptoms, and despite my ability to handle my emotions very well....... I was very vulnerable at the time and got hit hard!

It only took one person to tell me that I looked exhausted to make me realize it was time to reconnect with God. I'm really thankful to the two friends who reminded me that I don't have to carry my burdens all by myself, God was there to help me, I only had to ask him. It was very humbling. Even Wonder Woman prayed to the goddesses! (Well, really she would pray to Hera, even though the statue in the temple of her home planet/country is of Athena.)

So, next time you feel hopeless and think your burdens are too much, I suggest you just say something along the lines of "God (or whatever/whichever deity you choose to worship), I can't do this alone anymore. Help." It really is that simple, but it's not easy. Then again, things that are easy usually aren't all that worth the effort. You'd be surprised how LIBERATED you feel afterward. :)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Influence of Books, Part 1: Le Morte d'Arthur

As I was writing a post for my other blog (Letters to Nemo) I realized that one of the books I read as a young adolescent influenced my thoughts on relationships and men. That book was Sir Arthur Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur. It's a collection of stories of the Knights of the Round Table, so King Arthur's Knights.

"Knights you say? Pish posh!" True, some people think knights are stuff for legends and stories, something to tell children, or for studying history, but I can tell you that the knights still influence the way I think about the relationships between men and women.

The Knights had a Code of Chivalry which still influences the way gentlemen behave, and for me it helps me decide whom I refer to "sir" when I speak with someone close to my age. Strangely, I also call other women "sir", but that's a topic for a different time. I attempt to emulate some of the parts of the code, which I know makes others get really confused because it seems like I'm acting "too manly". I think that's unfortunate because if many more followed the Code then the world would probably be a much better place. (Okay, maybe I'm an idealist, but I can hope, right?)

So what does the Code have to do with relationships? EVERYTHING! Thus I choose live by that code, but some tell me that my standards for men are too high. I have only one thing to say about that: no my standard is not too high, I would much rather be by myself than be with someone who can't even treat another person as a human being and instead chooses to treats others at something. If I'm meant to live the remainder of my life with someone, then I hope it's someone who can hold himself accountable and is willing to do all the things possible to keep the marriage intact.

Le Morte d'Arthur taught me that at some point men were brave and responsible, they knew that they had a family to take care of and they would never let anyone bring dishonor to their family. True, there is some scandalous parts to the book, like the relationship between Lancelot and Guinevere, but the main part was that honor and character should never be compromised or else nothing else in life will ever matter.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

A Response to "College Majors That Are Useless" by Terence Loose

In the past week, an article was posted on Yahoo! about education, it was an article which argued about the uselessness of some majors.

The article in question can be found here.

Two of the five majors are more on the arts, which I can say nothing about since I do enjoy art but am not receiving an education in that area, plus it is a highly competitive arena. My concern is about the other three majors: Agriculture, Animal Science, and Horticulture. Part of my concern is because I chose Animal Science as my major before I even applied to college and the other part is because those three majors are very unappreciated by the general public.

First of all, agriculture can be said to be an umbrella term as it usually includes animal science and horticulture as a branch of agriculture. It's like saying Marine Biology is different from Biology, in truth it is just a more specific, more focused, area of biology; the same thing goes for animal science and agriculture or horticulture and agriculture. The author, Terence Loose, provides some statistics which is a plus, but it is important to remember that the interpretation of data is more important than the actual data.

"Useless" Major #1: Agriculture
As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, agriculture is a very broad term as in includes crops, meat production, research, amongst other subjects. Loose appears to be writing under the impression that agriculture is only about crops, which is a common misconception due to the lack of agricultural literacy by the general public. This means that as we become more attached to technology, there has been less and less interest in learning about food production, production of materials, production of textiles, etc. The people who major in Agriculture aren't going to just become your typical farmer, they may go into policy making or research to find a way to make a crop, for example corn, more sustainable and more efficient. By sustainable I mean that the crop grows in the same amount as, say 20 years ago, but with less resources and less impact on the environment. The agriculture major graduate may also choose to work with farmers to teach them new ways of farming that yield the same amount or more of product while using the same amount, or even less, of resources (water, land, capital, etc.) There is of course, the possibility that the person will end up working in a job where his or her degree is completely unrelated.

Loose uses the state of Idaho to explain his belief that agriculture is a useless major. He indicates that the University of Idaho has cut its agriculture major, which is unfortunate but it has happened, is an indicator of the lack of farms that are hiring. The fact remains that Idaho is just one state, and that there are still other universities that offer a program in agriculture and who possibly have even more farms and agricultural products than Idaho (such as California, which has a larger population and also produces many commodities that are not found elsewhere in the U.S., e.g. avocados). It is very well known that one cannot use just one example to explain a trend or belief because there is a possibility of a counter-example.

I commend Loose on his research to find statistics from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The only downside I can see to it is that the census he uses is somewhat outdated (it's from 2007, which was 5 years ago). He also quotes the U.S. Department of Labor on the amount of jobs that will be available in the agriculture sector, which could be true, but that depends on the department's definition of agricultural jobs. Those jobs are likely to change over the course of the next 10 years as we continue to look for a way to cater to the public demands of sustainability, humane-treatment, and cost.


"Useless" Major #4: Animal Science
I feel offended because this is my major, and happens to be on the largest departments at my university, and it's very well-known for it's program in animal science.

Now then, Loose gives a glimmer of hope since he gives data which states a 13% increase in jobs within the animal science field, yet he quickly discourages the reader. He also quotes Laurence Shatkin, Ph.D.; Shatkin has, according to his LinkedIn profile, "more than 30 years' experience designing, prototyping, and developing books and software applications to guide people of all ages in getting information and making decisions, especially about careers and educational plans". If this is true, then I really hope Dr. Shatkin is keeping up to date on animal science and is capable of saying what animal science encompasses. According to Shatkin, animal science is very specific and the person with a degree in animal science would have a hard time finding a job.

Animal science encompasses the production of dairy and beef cattle, chickens and poultry, and goats, as well as genetics, aquaculture (the production of fish in a farming setting to meet the demands of fish consumers), the biology of companion animals (dogs, cats, gerbils and other rodents, rabbits, lizards and other reptiles), and some avian science. Without the expertise of animal scientists, the U.S. (and world for that matter) would have a difficult time finding a solution to feeding the millions of people on earth now and in the future and there is the possibility of lack of fibers for clothing. Without fibers, the textiles and fashion industry would have some difficulties.

As mentioned in the agriculture section, animal science is trying to find a solution to feeding every person on the globe; a daunting and difficult task that needs to be done if humans are to continue living. If animal science really was too specific, then we would have seen a decline in the number of jobs available to someone with that major. However, the jobs available to someone with an animal science major tend to be fairly broad ranging from a job as a park ranger to a groomer to a geneticist to policy-making.

"Useless" Major #5: Horticulture

Horticulturists know a lot about plants, and can even help in landscape architecture! Again, Loose connects horticulture to agriculture (with support from Shatkin), but they also know about plants from around the world. If it weren't for horticulturists, parks would have a difficult time existing, as would public gardens. Every non-profit garden has likely had (or currently has) at least one horticulturist so that planning of landscapes goes well. One such example is the San Diego Botanic Garden in Encinitas, CA. They had two horticulturists the last time I checked (sometime in the last year) and one of them keeps up to date on news within the sector of plants.

Plant diseases? Talk to a horticulturist. Trying to plan a new garden? Chances are that you'll consult a horticulturist and not know you are doing so.



In conclusion, Loose presented an arguement which appears to be using a thinking system in which money is the objective and in which one has forgotten the importance of farmers and the agricultural lifestyle. If you have food on your table and clothes on your back, be thankful for the farmers that provide you these commodities. If you buy organic and locally grown foods, be thankful for the advances in agriculture. More importantly, learn and spread the word about the importance of agriculture because although an old trade, it is a necessity by every human being on this planet.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

"You are what you practice."

I used to see that phrase once a day, 5 days a week for two school years. Two whole school years. 

Where and why? It was painted as a banner in my orchestra classroom when I was in middle school (which was quite some time ago it seems). My orchestra teacher would point that out on the first day of school just as a reminder of her teaching philosophy and I think I know why now.

I started playing violin in 7th grade, I practiced as much as I could so I would get better. Of all the violins, I learned the posture, the notes, the songs we played the fastest. There was one thing I wasn't quite good at, and that was timing. My teacher would always tell me to slow down, as I tended to make everyone else speed up just so they could keep up with me. Talent? I certainly didn't have any, but I did have a desire and want to be a good violinist. By the time I was in 8th grade, I joined the Advanced orchestra of my middle school. A lot of the students in this had been playing since 4th or 5th grade (the first year you can learn to play an instrument in my school district was 4th grade, you got to play a string instrument, since violins are one of the smaller instruments a lot of kids chose that. In 5th grade you could start to learn to play a wind instrument.) Needless to say they were really good, the basses, the cellos, the violas, and the violins. They were all better than me, or so I thought.

In an orchestra the violins usually are so numerous that they are divided into 1st and 2nd violins. The 1st violins tend to play the melody of a piece and also play higher notes; it takes a good violinist to hit those notes in the upper octaves with minimal mistakes. The 2nd violins usually play the harmony and/or the melody but at lower octaves/notes. It's kind of like in a choir, there is a difference between a soprano and an alto, or a soprano and a bass. During the first week, we can sit wherever we want within our section, I usually sat somewhere in the middle of the violin section. Then we got tested on a piece of music. Again, I practiced until I got it down and could play the piece without really looking at the notes, I had memorized them. Each violin player played a few bars of the piece, I think it was the hardest section; one by one we all played, I was nervous I'm not going to lie. The next day the teacher gave us the results, the test determined who was good enough to play in the 1st violin section and all other violins got to be 2nd violins. I got to be a 1st violinist! I remember the excitement of that day and I stayed a 1st violin for the rest of the school year. One of the last chairs in the 1st violin section, but a 1st violin nonetheless!

Once I got to high school, the same thing happened with the violins, we all played a few bars of the same piece and got sorted that way. Again, this was super nerve-wracking, the violinists were all REALLY REALLY REALLY good! Some even had outside tutors to help them perfect their playing style. That and the teacher this time kept saying he expected us to play as if we were going to do this as a career, and he looked like a bulldog! Once again, I got into the 1st violin section, the second to last chair in the section. As the year went on, we played pieces that increased in level of difficulty. At some point before one of our concerts for the year, each section got tested to see if the chairs were in the correct position. From second to last chair, I got moved up to 4th chair. Chair just refers to your ranking within the section. I knew I had earned that chair, I had practiced a lot, but I was so scared of failure that I returned to my former position.


By now you're probably wondering, what does that have to do with the phrase "You are what you practice."? I would say it has to do a lot with my story of orchestra (I don't play violin on a regular basis anymore, but I can still play it, and play pieces that I spent hours practicing.) Because I practiced hard to become a good player, I got good results. I never imagined I would get to be 4th chair in the 1st violin section, especially not after playing for only 2 years. So really, I got some of the best results, the ones that I didn't think could or ever would happen.


After many years, I only though of that phrase about 3 days ago. I had finished reading How to have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People by Les Giblin and was ruminating the principles and ideas presented in the book. In fact I finished the book in one sitting on Wednesday and applied some of the principles found in that book and in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People while shopping at my local Bath and Bodyworks shop (Buy 3 products from the signature collection, get 3 free! A genius deal!) I can tell you, I probably made an employee's day, she made a happy "squee" sound after she walked away. I BECAME a nice customer because I PRACTICED being a nice customer.

So if you practice being a gentle and caring person, you BECOME a gentle and caring person. If all you ever do to one person is beat them down with your words, then everyone else knows you ARE a mean person and they will never come ask you for help nor will you be liked by anyone. We've all heard "Practice makes perfect", but unfortunately we can never BE perfect, it's not possible!! So instead, think of "You are what you practice." If you challenge yourself to "practice" doing one kind action, then slowly, but surely, you will BECOME and be perceived as a kind person. When you "practice" being organized, orderly, and punctual, then those traits become a part of you; now you are an organized, orderly, and punctual person. Your actions illustrate who you are and whom you have become; if you change something then others will notice, especially if you start becoming likable!

Remember, you can never reach perfection, (It's like an asymptotic curve!), but you can become something really close to perfection. Whatever you do, it defines the type of person you are... and I for one, want to be a likable person, someone others go to for advice or to talk with. "I wanna be the very best..." thus I will practice becoming the very best.