"100% Natural Beauty"
"[I'm wearing] my plain, not beautiful, just normal, no make-up on face."-Victoria Jurgen, protagonist of Cecil Castellucci's
Boyproof
I have those words written on two separate shirts. One I no longer wear, and the other I do. Lately I've found myself contemplating the definition of beauty. It's almost an elusive definition that seems to change with time. Here are a few examples: a child can have beautiful eyes or hair, a dress can be beautiful, a woman can look beautiful, a man can look beautiful, a horse can be beautiful, a mountain can be beautiful. But how do we determine that?
To understand why I'm contemplating beauty, we must go back about three weeks when I got a phone call. Usually I let a call from an unknown number go to voicemail, but for some odd reason I actually answered this call, on the other end I heard a young woman. She was a Mary Kay consultant and got my number from a friend of mine, she wanted to know if I was interested in getting a facial or trying some MK products. The call got me completely off guard! I answered honestly and told her I was not interested in any of her products or services but wished her luck in getting other customers, thankfully she took my answer graciously. The friend she got my number from, well, she's very different from me. While I try to not look especially appealing she always dresses very nicely and does her hair and make-up. Which I guess is cool, if that's what she wants to do.
For the remainder of the week I kept asking myself: "Why do girls and women think and feel that they must wear make-up in order to look beautiful? Who decides the beauty standard? Does the beauty standard change with time? Has it changed within my lifetime?" I've only answered some of my questions.
I could come up with some reasons, some of which I've heard my own friends say:
- It makes me feel good.
- I'm not trying to impress anyone, I'm doing it for myself.
- I look better with make-up on.
- It makes me stand out!
What reasons have you heard from those around you? What is your reason?
I think the standard of beauty has changed. Just looking back at history, the Egyptians had standards different than say the English (even if separated by centuries) while the different native peoples of the Americas had differing definitions of beautiful. And I suppose it has changed within my lifetime, although I haven't really paid attention to it.
I also asked another friend of mine, we hold some of the same beliefs, so maybe it wasn't such a great idea, but here's our conversation (via text message):
Me: So I've been thinking..... Why do some girls that and feel that wearing make-up is the only way they can feel beautiful? Like, is it because it makes them definitely appear like girls of women?
Friend: Because society tells them so.
Me: and one reason they give is so they feel beautiful, not trying to impress others. And I'm like "What does that mean?" How can you not feel beautiful with the face you were born with? And who decides what IS beauty? And do the standards of beauty change with time? Sometimes they do, but why the change? And can that happen after one generation? And that brings up another point: Wearing vibrant color make-up to stand out from everyone else. Like Victoria "Egg" from Boyproof or Kyra Sellers from The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl and Goth Girl Rising.
Friend: Easily. I've never liked my face, but I don't wear make-up because I know if I start I won't be able to stop. I think the standard of beauty changes all the time. Look at Gaga, in the 50s she would have been considered a freak. In the Middle Ages they would have burned her at the stake, but today girls want to be like her.
Me: But she's still considered a freak.
Friend: Using fashion to stand out makes sense especially in L.A. where there are so many people no one feels special.
Me: Ugh! Stupid call from the Mary Kay consultant that got me started thinking about this.
Friend: Not by the people that try to look like her [Gaga] at raves and concerts.
Me: True, but is her style redefining beauty or will it just be a fad?
Friend: Idk, I think about it all the time. Was talking to other friend* about it. Good question.
Me: Well, I think about it every few months or so. But I've been spending a lot more time thinking about hte ways of the world recently... and that cal just triggered all the things I'd thought about before. And in some ways, it makes me feel.... I guess superior because I know I don't need to look pretty to impress others. I don't know. Like, it's something that I think is really cool about you, because you can appreciate pretty people, but you're also not trying hard to conform to the standards of beauty because you've got wit and brains working for you.
Friend: Yeah, the way I described our group when I was talking to her about us was that we place our definition of ourselves as people higher than our definition of us being women.
Me: What did she say about that?
Friend: She was mad about the make-up thing 'cause she was wearing gold eyeshadow.
Me: At least she didn't do the classic blue eyeshadow and red lipstick combo. Which in my mind, can only look good on Tim Curry from now on.
Friend: Yeah, I saw this girl on the bus with caked on make-up that looked like a mask of perfection and I was like "How early did she wake up to have to do that? How much money does she spend on it?" And then the other day these girls at the bus stop were talking and one said "Yeah, I had ten off coupon, but I had to spend at least $60." I was like "Daaayyuum!"
Friend: And even worse. I think that girls do it to get guys and when that's the case I just see it as false advertising. That's not what they're going to be waking up to in the morning...
As you can see, we both wonder what goes on in people's heads sometimes.
So me and make-up... well we don't get along very well. I choose not to use it for various reasons, but they include cost, consequences, and the fact that appearance can sometimes be wrong.
What about you, reader? What do you think of beauty? How do you define it and why is that your definition? Have you ever thought about this before? You can place your responses as a comment, and I'm really interested in what you have to say.
Added May 28, 2012:
After publishing this, I decided to watch Howl's Moving Castle, and something really stayed in my mind. Howl actually says "There is no point in living if I can't be beautiful." When I wrote this, I was thinking of standards of beauty for women, but after that I started wondering if men and boys felt some kind of similar pressure. So male readers, what do you think? What's your experience? Do you think there is some kind of standard men live up to?
